


If You Open Your Heart

by DryCereal



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 19:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17127347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DryCereal/pseuds/DryCereal
Summary: Prompt: Dan and Phil decide to start a Let's Play of Final Fantasy VII for the gaming channel. It's clear how the notion of it will raise some particular comments from dedicated fans, especially a song. But it's 2019, and the ghost of the valentine's day video leak isn't as harrowing as it was - still, how do you navigate boundaries of something private with the new openness of today?





	If You Open Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [i_am_my_opheliac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_am_my_opheliac/gifts).



> Buon Natale Lia! I hope you like this, I really enjoyed writing it for you (ok, and for me too!)

**16/06/2015 - Fanfare.**  
  
“… _and I want to eat your souls_ … I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m not possessed, it’s fine. Byeeeee!” he finishes, standing up and switching off the camera and the box light, before flopping down on the bed.  
  
Relaxed now he’s finished filming, he allows himself to check his phone, frowning slightly at the lack of any contact from Dan since the last time he checked, a little over two hours ago. Opening iMessages and the conversation with his boyfriend, he pauses for a moment before starting to type.

  * Phil: beep boop! finished filming - can you be home now pls? <3



  
Closing the app, he opens Twitter and briefly checks his mentions. Countless people seem to have all sent him the same YouTube link. He barely has time to tap on one of them at random, but he does see the title of the video before his phone starts ringing.  
  
Luckily it’s Dan, who just laughs at the undignified high-pitched noise he’s still making as the call connects.  
  
“Phil? You OK?” he asks, above the background noise, thankfully quieter than the last time they’d tried to talk during the day.  
  
“I- I’m fine.” Phil answers, aware, even as Dan worriedly interrupts to ask again what’s wrong, that he’s probably scaring Dan more than he should when he’s a three-hour flight away from home. “Just… have you checked Twitter today?”  
  
“No… why? What’s happened? Oh! Remind me to tweet later about no live show tonight though. But what’s wrong?” Phil smiles at that, and about Dan’s concern, in order for him, them, and _them_.  
  
“Nothing’s happened, I just saw something from E3 is all, wondered if you’d seen it already.”  
  
“E3?”  
  
“Mmmhmmmm. You haven’t forgotten other games exist besides League, right?” he answers, chuckling, before laughing outright when Dan replies, testily “oh, I’m so glad they do(!) - but I won’t be trying to convince anyone else here..! What’s got **you** so excited, though?”  
  
“Square Enix did their presentation.”  
  
“...And?”  
  
“And people sent me a link to part of it.”  
  
“What part?”  
  
“It’s a trailer...” He’s dragging this out on purpose, and he’s fairly sure Dan knows he’s trying to get a rise out of him by now. It’s not the only reason he’s doing it though, he’s also keeping the call lasting as long as he can; this is already the longest conversation they’ve had whilst Dan’s been away - they’ve been almost completely limited to text messages and sleepy goodnight calls - the only time Dan’s had privacy to talk.  
  
“Phil, I _swear to God…_ ”  
  
“They’re remaking Seven.”  
  
There’s silence for a few seconds, apart from the sounds of their breathing, but Dan eventually forms some words into a response.  
  
“You’re shitting me. **_Really_ ** ?!”  
  
“ **I KNOW!** People, so many of them, sent me the link to the video and it’s titled “ _Final Fantasy VII Remake Announcement Trailer_ ” and it’s on their _verified account_ so it _must_ be real and-”  
  
“ _Have you watched it yet?_ ” Dan interrupts, cutting straight through his excited babble.  
  
“No, I-” _‘wanted to tell you about it as soon as I saw it.’_ He continues in his head, even as Dan interrupts once more, this time begging him, promising anything and everything he wants, if only he’ll promise to wait to watch it til he gets home, so they can watch it and freak out and be overly excited nerds together later tonight.  
  
“Dan, ok! **_OK!_ ** I’ll wait, I will, I mean… I won’t watch it yet. Your flight had better be on time though..!” He laughs at Dan’s indignant squawk, and agrees to takeaway for dinner, promising to order it when Dan lets him know he’s nearly home “so they can make a night of it”  
  
“You know it’s only, like, two minutes long, right?”  
  
“Two important minutes, Phil. Which we will be watching on repeat and analysing in-depth.” Dan replies, determinedly. “OK, so I have to go film some last few bits before we head to the airport. I’ll text you before I get on the plane though, alright?”  
  
“Alright. Don’t get lost while you’re walking round ignoring the camera.”  
  
“Oh, **_fuck_ ** _you_ . I told you about that because I hate it. Not so you can wind me up about having to do it.”  
  
Phil snorts back a laugh, before answering. “OK. Love you, see you tonight.”  
  
“You too. See you later.” Dan hangs up then, leaving Phil to tweet something he hopes sounds excited, without revealing he hasn’t a clue what’s going on, all the while hoping he has either the willpower to keep his promise until Dan gets home, or the acting skills to hide the fact that he’d caved and didn’t last two seconds.  
  
Hours later, he’s glad he waited. Dan sounded surprised, and a little bit disbelieving when he phoned from the airport, when Phil answered that he hadn’t watched the trailer yet, and again when he arrived home and immediately dragged Phil into the lounge, laughed when he saw the TV turned on, connected to Phil’s laptop, waiting to hit play on the video, accusing him jokingly of already having watched “nine million times I bet, and I swear, if you talk through it I’ll murder you, Lester.”  
  
They didn’t even sit down to watch it, Dan bouncing on the balls of his feet, fists clenched by his sides as Phil bends down to hit play, then stands at his side to watch.  
  
There’s a voiceover, but Phil’s not concentrating on that, too busy taking in as much of the visual details - a shot of a dove flying across a cloudy sky quickly gives way to various quick scenes, set in Midgar, he thinks.  
  
Dan actually squeaks and grabs his hand when the music starts playing. After that, there’s footage he thinks will be from the opening cutscenes of the game, with some credits, but then -  
  
“ **_Fuck_ ** .”  
  
It’s the music from the beginning of the game, and it’s Barrett and the Buster Sword and Cloud and then the logo and “REMAKE” on the screen, before a promise of “more info this winter” on the screen which then goes dark.  
  
He turns to Dan, who hasn’t moved, still hasn’t as much as looked away from the screen the entire time, just in time to see him mouth something to himself, frowning, before uttering a single word.  
  
“Again.”

He coaxes Dan into the sofa crease after the fourth playthrough, and it’s a couple more silent watches later that he finally speaks.  
  
“I don’t believe they’re actually doing it.” He whispers, before looking at Phil for confirmation. “They -” he looks away, down at the laptop on the coffee table, before trying again. “They wouldn’t lie about it though, would they?” In response, Phil pulls the lead out of the side of the computer and snatches it up, quickly typing before turning the screen to show Dan the pages and pages of articles and results of his search.  
  
“If they’re lying, they’d best get working on an actual remake, they’ll get murdered if they go back on it now!” Phil jokes.  
  
Dan, buoyed up by Phil’s excited assurances, perks up quickly, and they spend the rest of the evening excitedly reading articles and comments online to each other, in between slices of (“Not rotten!” Dan jokes, as Phil pulls a revolted face and throws a slice of pepperoni at him) pizza.  
  
Of course, it’s not long before their gaming channel is brought up, and almost immediately, once he realises why Dan’s suddenly looking tense, Phil’s kicking himself for mentioning it. He has an out though, luckily, and he’s hoping like hell Dan takes it, that he’ll look at him, instead of focussing all his attention on the far corner of the coffee table as he twists his fingers together nervously.  
  
“Pity we have that rule though, isn’t it?”  
  
Dan sighs, but he does make eye contact with Phil. Fleetingly, but it’s there, and he doesn’t flee, nodding, even if he is biting the inside of his cheek as he does it.  
  
When they made the gaming channel, when they finally decided to turn their main leisure activity into work of a sort, they’d promised to keep work and play separate; that they’d never film a game they were looking forward to playing themselves.  
  
Neither of them mention the fact that they’ve already broken it.  
  
  
**15/01/2016 - Flowers Blooming in a Church.**  
  
“T-o-t-o. Not in capitals.”  
  
“Thanks for telling me the spelling of ‘Toto’ Phil.” Dan deadpans, as he nevertheless does as directed. Phil says something about  “not trusting” people who name characters in all capital letters, and of course he references Final Fantasy VII to do it - it’s always been his favourite game.  
  
“CLOUD!” Dan jumps in as soon as Phil takes a breath, changing the subject to one that will lead to less comments. “S’like Pokémon” he starts, “Everyone shouts at you all the time, it just makes it…” he trails off. He didn’t really have a point, he just wanted to nudge off that particular train of thought. It’s worked though. Phil comments that they’ve just named their character after ‘the dog from the wizard of oz” which gives him something safe to react to, right up until the screen in front of them changes to their character lying on a bed of flowers and Phil, bless and damn him, almost immediately after commenting how their accidental name suits them, comes out with:  
  
“Ooh. We’re on flowers in a church! Aeris, where are you?!”  
  
“Phillllll… you’re such a fanboy, jesus…”  
  
“You all right?” He’s putting on a stupid voice now, overly feminine. “Can you hear me?”  
  
“Phil, for fucks’ sake…” He’s doing this just to wind him up now, Dan’s sure. Usually they get a bit further into the filming before one or the other gets a bit bored and starts trying to get a rise out of the other; if Phil’s starting this early on, they might not make a series after all...  
  
“Can you get up?” _‘Enough’_ he thinks. They need to get on and play the game. Get a video up soon, before their audience starts camping on their doorstep because they’ve been “gone” so long...  
  
“Phil! You know we’re cutting this out, right? So no-one sees how bad you’ve got it for that game...”  
  
“It’s a **great** game though. And it will be again.”  
  
“I know. I can’t wait, but it’s going to take **so** long...”  
  
“It’ll be worth it though. We should play at least a bit of it for the channel though. Like your pokémon video. Like that.”  
  
“You’ve been watching that again, haven’t you?” Dan doesn’t want to have a long, drawn out discussion about that here and now. Not when they’re trying to film, not when they need to try and hide that they’re cut out a conversation their audience won’t ever be privy to...  
  
“You watch my old videos.”  
  
“OK, fine. We’re both disgusting, but can we play **this** game now please?”  
  
“Mmmhmm. OK. So… _Let’s leave this cave! Shall we sniff every corner?_ ” Dan gratefully takes his cue that they’re back to filming again, and he can’t help but respond, without thinking, focussing on steering their character around the screen as he replies:  
  
“Is it going to be like Final Fantasy IX where y-you…” ‘ _Damn.’_  
  
  
**29/12/17 - Continue**

  * Phil: No spoilers, but gerudo town = honeybee manor. That’s all.



 

  * Dan: Gerudo town’s always been honeybee manor without the pimp and johns. Zelda n00b.



 

  * Phil: Rude. If i’m such a n00b, how come i’m ahead of you in the story?



 

  * Dan: Story aint everything m8. I’m doing so many of these shrines. SO MANY SHRINES. How many are there, anyway? I’ve done, like, 20 already.



 

  * Dan: IGN says 120. Fuck.



 

  * Phil: HAHA! Sucks to be you. It’s an RPG tho. Story IS everything.



 

  * Dan: Says he who has a half-empty pokédex and claims to have finished Sun…



 

  * Phil: Sorry, new phone, who dis?



 

  * Dan: I hate you so much. (come home already. I miss you)



 

  * Phil: Me too. Bored of this island now. <3



  
  
**30/12/17 - Tango of Tears.**

  * Dan: Did you get all the memory picture places yet?



 

  * Phil: What? No. How?! I got the one by the castle and the one from gerudo town… did you stay up all night playing *again*?



 

  * Dan: Not important. Just… I don’t like this game anymore. It’s just taken a left turn at ouch st and driving me down feels road AND I DON’T LIKE IT BUT IT’S SO GOOD.



 

  * Phil: No spoilers pls. But srs, how did you find them?!



 

  * Dan: I cheated and used the map i told you i found. You’re not gonna cope with this tho. It’s like… worse than aeris.



 

  * Phil: SPOILERS!!!!!!! But… nothing’s worse than that. *Nothing*



 

  * Dan: aww. It’s ok philly. I’ll be there and make it better.



 

  * Phil: creepy and spoilers. You’re the *worst* - Getting on the plane now. <3



 

  * Dan: YAAAAAAAS! Text when you land. Love you. <3



 

  * Phil: K <3



  
  
**12/04/2018 - Sending a Dream into the Universe.** **  
****  
**Phil blinks awake to find Dan, still in bed, but leaning against his pillows, with his MacBook open on his chest, in much the same position as he’d found him earlier that night when he came to bed. They’d filmed a little bit for their pre-tour vlog, before Dan had given up working for the night, and whilst Phil, tired after another long day of rehearsal and admin had quickly fallen asleep, Dan obviously hadn’t.  
  
He isn’t working though, at least, not as far as he can tell. He’s watching something intently, however, but as Phil stirs, and Dan notices he’s awake, he snaps the laptop shut and moves to place it on the bedside table, an apology already half-formed on his lips as Phil reaches out to stop him turning away.  
  
“Wait, no… what were you looking at?”  
  
“Nothing, just - go back to sleep, ok? I was just- Doesn’t matter. Sorry I woke you up.” There’s something cagey about his behaviour that’s making Phil rapidly grow uneasy, he hates when Dan withdraws, tries to hide, so he goes for the option that he knows will provoke any sort of reaction.  
  
“ _Dannnn…_ Were you watching porn?”  
  
It’s dark in their room with the laptop shut, but he hears Dan inhale sharply, before letting out a frustrated noise. Phil can’t help but giggle as he rants, both in amusement and relief that the tension seems to be broken.  
  
“ **_Phil..!_ ** No I was **NOT** . Why is **that** where your mind immediately went?! Just because _you_ try and hide yours away doesn’t mean **_I_ ** find anything shameful ab _-_ **_mmmpfh!_ ** ” The rest of his tirade is smothered by the pillow Phil thwacks down over his head, dodging away from his flailing limbs as Dan tries to fight it off.  
  
He flings the pillow across the room and sits bolt-upright, grabs the laptop, before placing it none-too-gently on Phil’s chest.  
  
“That’s what I was looking at, you perv.” He scoffs, and continues muttering about “...porn, honestly. Like I need to watch that in bed with…” before Phil tunes him out as he re-opens the laptop and types in Dan’s password. He sees a still image from the video Dan had been watching,   _that_ video; paused now, then looks across to find Dan watching for his reaction.  
  
“You okay?” He asks, and smiles when Dan does.  
  
“I’m fine. Honest. I was just thinking about stuff for the show, y’know, the “we’re people first” then I thought about this-” he says, gesturing to the laptop screen, “-and about privacy and… well, then I just wanted to watch it before I tried to sleep.”  
  
“‘Kay.” Phil replies, still smiling at the thought of Dan still choosing to watch _his_ video, the one made just for him for comfort even after everything... _after_ . Refusing to allow himself to dwell on that - “But I think I’m going to use the veto, y’know, if…”  
  
“Oh fuck no. It’s not going in the show.” Dan replies, as if the thought had never crossed his mind. “No way. I know we’re… you’re… not hiding from it, or whatever these days, but that would be asking for… No.”  
  
“It’s ok love.” Phil answers, not wanting to leave him hanging for an answer on this of all topics. “I didn’t think you would want that, I just… it is porn though. Emotional porn.”  
  
“For my horny eighteen year old self.” Dan agrees, before they both crack up laughing.  
  
“Emo porn.”  
  
“No, no, don’t… Stop.” Dan’s laughing so hard he’s struggling to breathe, having abandoned attempts to keep quiet. “Don’t ruin it.”  
  
“Couldn’t ruin it if i tried. Wouldn’t though. I’m just glad you liked it then, and thrilled you still like it now, even after… well, you know.”  
  
“I’ll always love it. I will. Nothing will make it anything but the sweetest, most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for me ever.” It’s true. Dan always tried to tell Phil that. At times it wasn’t easy to do, not when they were trying to hide so much, and when things were raw between them and their audience, and that video was caught up in the middle, and the cause of all, r a lot of the upset, but… He loves it, and loves the man who made it, and loves that it was for _him_ .  
  
“So what you’re saying now is that I should just stop trying then… Mission accomplished, like… nine years ago.”  
  
“Eight. And, like... two months. Plus, you know, your drawings weren’t _that_ good..!” Phil makes an indignant noise, and rolls over, reaching across and jabbing his fingers into Dan’s ribs.  
  
“Rude. Those drawings should be in a museum. And I should go find someone who appreciates my talent instead of wasting it on y- _mmmphhhh!_ ” For the second time that night, someone gets smothered with a pillow, but this time the roles are reversed, and when Phil fights his way out from underneath, Dan presses his lips against Phil’s, stealing a sweet, if quick, kiss.  
  
“You know I love it. And you. And I always will.” Phil feels his cheeks heat at that. Always does, whenever Dan’s that unapologetically sweet.  
  
“Even after..?” He can’t help but seek the reassurance.  
  
“Even after.” Dan confirms, pressing another kiss against his cheek, before settling down with his head on Phil’s chest, in lieu of the pillow he threw across the room earlier. “I’m… glad we’re not hiding so much anymore. Just… being us, a bit more, at least.” He sighs, obviously thinking, but he doesn’t sound sad, just wistful. “You know, part of me wishes we’d never tried to hide, but I wouldn’t change what we’ve got **now** for anything.”  
  
“Mmmmm.” Phil replies noncommittally. “Not all of it was fun” he muses, being careful with his words, “But now is good, and next will be better, and that’s what’s important.”  
  
“I feel like I’m in therapy.”  
  
“You do this with your therapist?!”  
  
“Shut up! No, even though I’m paying a fucking small fortune..! Just… it’s good to think things over and talk them out is all.”  
  
“I wish we’d done that more in the past. Instead of both pulling different directions.”  
  
“Younger us weren’t always the best, were they? But… they got us to where we are now, so they didn’t do all that bad.”  
  
“Clearly not. Good-ish job, younger us.”  
  
“Ish?!” Dan giggles, and Phil smiles both at his reaction, and as his hair tickles against his chest.  
  
“Yeah, ish. So… in the interest of not pulling in different directions, and also not putting you-know-what-” he motions towards the laptop, still displaying an example of 2010 Phil’s limited art skills; “- into the you-know-what...” he makes a vague motion, before threading his fingers through Dan’s hair and scratching his scalp gently, even as Dan tenses slightly.  
  
“...How would you feel about playing FF7 on the gaming channel. At least, the first part of it, when it’s released?”  
  
“You know what?” Dan replies, grasping Phil’s wrist, pulling it away from his hair to press a kiss against his palm, before tucking it against his own chest; “I think I’d like that. I want to play it with you, and I want _them_ to see us playing it.”  
“That sounds great.” He whispers, pulling Dan more securely against him, and closing his eyes, a smile on his face.  
  
  
**? - The Countdown Begins.**  
  
“PHIL! COME HERE!!!” Phil practically levitates up off the sofa at Dan’s yell, walking quickly over to where he’s sitting, bouncing excitedly in front of the iMac he said he needed, _for editing_ .  
  
“What?! What is it?”  
  
Dan points at the screen as Phil leans down over his shoulder to look, hurriedly shoving his glasses back up his nose.  
  
“Release date. They’ve announced a release date!” He wraps his arms around Dan’s chest as he presses his face into his neck, Dan continuing to fidget, squirming away slightly and laughing when Phil speaks directly into his neck.  
  
“That’s... not long away.”  
  
  
**? - Hurry.**  
  
“ **DAN!!** WILL YOU COME ON! _WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE!_ ” Phil bellows up the stairs, exasperated beyond belief. He’d been bouncing around “preparing” for tonight all bloody day, and yet they’re now running late because he’s still, somehow not ready to leave?!  
  
Dan eventually appears at the top of the stairs, hopping slightly as he pulls on his shoes in a way that Phil hates, partly because he worries he’ll fall, partly because deep down he knows that whilst he undoubtedly would, Dan wouldn’t, and that’s irritating.  
  
“Got keys? Are you ready to-” Dan starts, as if he’s been the one waiting for the past fifteen minutes.  
  
“Are you _kidding_ -” Phil starts, but is cut off by Dan’s excited laugh as he bounds down the rest of the stairs, seizes his hand and drags him towards their door almost at a run.  
  
“C’mon Philly, we’ve got a game to buy, bring home and play! Release day! Midnight launch! YEE-!!! Umm.. Err...” Phil bursts out laughing as the words die on Dan’s lips as he catches sight of their poor neighbour standing outside his door, and drags Dan away towards the lift.  
  
“Idiot!” he giggles, as he shoves Dan ahead of him through the doors. “Let’s go.”  
  
They’ve been posting updates of their day since they got up, late, admittedly, but planned that way. Dan, preparing for filming in their lounge as soon as they get back with the game, them both having agreed that the small screen in the gaming room just wasn’t good enough for tonight’s HD masterpiece, instead setting up the cameras, lights, and the tangle of wires they usually tried their best to ignore when it came to filming proving an absolute nightmare to organise. But he’d managed, whilst Phil was tweeting his thoughts and hopes for the game he’d been playing since he was young enough to read the dialogue, helped by his brother for the hard bits.  
  
They were both dressed for the occasion, Phil in a bright yellow chocobo t-shirt under his jacket; Dan, channeling Advent Children-esque Cloud in navy, with the addition of a couple of pin buttons, a Cactuar and a Tonberry practically _glowing_ compared to the dark of the rest of his outfit. Phil had poked them through his jacket as he protested about the holes, but he’d left them, after twisting them the right way up. They were cute, after all, and Phil looked so excited...  
  
Dan was literally pacing whilst on the tube, as if that would make the train go any faster, Phil taking and tweeting a creepshot, along with an affectionately-teasing caption, and after taking the escalator two steps at a time the entire way up, they practically ran along Oxford St and near skidded to a stop in front of the entrance to the store. After they were let in, they hurried to the tills, handed over their printed email, and finally, finally, had it in their hands.  
  
The game (and guide, Dan had insisted, not that they’d use it, but it would look good with all the others on their shelf) - limited edition, obviously, with all the extras was finally, now, in their hands.  
  
They got a taxi home, not caring about the cost, just wanting to get there as quickly as possible.  
  
They had a world to re-explore. And share.  
  
  
**? - Hurry Faster.**  
  
“Oh _fffffffffffudge_..!”

“Phil! Ok Phil! Kill it! Annihilate it, go on!” Dan reaches behind him to grab the plushie sat on the sofa behind them, and makes a show of covering its eyes as he addresses the camera.

“He doesn’t need to see this. OK, guys, for those of you that don’t know, these things are deadly. Straight up, will murder you in your sleep, no messing, stabby stab stab deadly. Which begs the question, Mr Philip, why did you buy me **this** for Christmas when we first met?!”

Phil just laughs in response as he directs the party on-screen to attack the monster before replying teasingly.

“Well, that’s for me to know and you to wonder about..!”

“You to know and me to get fucking shanked in my sleep, you mean. Rude.” Dan turns away, looking straight at the camera lens as he addresses their audience.

“Guys. If I ever get murdered by a single stab wound, you’ll know why. Make sure he doesn’t pull the angel bean routine and get away with it, ok? OK.”

“You’re mad.”

“You’re not fooling anyone Lester. We know. _Oh shit, look out!!! - it’s going to-!_ ”

They both groan as the Tonberry on-screen takes out Tifa in a single hit.

“See what I mean? **_Deadly_ ** .”  
  
“Shut _up_. You love it.” Phil sticks out his tongue as Dan turns to look at him, a retort ready on his lips, but it stalls as he opens his mouth to reply. Instead, he raises the plush murderous knife-wielding lizard to his face, leans forward so his elbows are on the desk, and sighs.  
  
“You know what? I really do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my betas - @winstonlives & @realeyesrealize - they're awesome, if slightly confused by all the gaming references in this. <3
> 
> I can usually be found on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/DryCerealThief) or [Tumblr](https://drycerealthief.tumblr.com) \- even when I'm trying to be secretive ~~and failing, apparently!!~~


End file.
